I'm the assistant director for a play, and tonight during rehearsal the lead actor finds me outside where I'm working on a part for another one of the actors. He says the director needs to have a word with me and takes me inside. The next thing I know, he counts, "One, two, three!" and everyone starts singing Happy Birthday! Ahhh, how sweet.... only my birthday is in March. Hmmmm.... Pull out my drivers license, check the birthdate; yup, my birthday's in March. So....

Apparently, in between rehearsing a scene someone had said something about "birthday" and the star of the show had asked "Who's birthday is it?" and somebody said, "It's Maze's!" The director then said she felt bad because she'd been rude to me earlier, and one thing led to another and they ended up singing Happy Birthday to me. I felt bad telling them it wasn't my birthday!!

So make sure it REALLY IS someone's birthday before you get a whole group of people to sing to them. Works out better for everyone. ;-)

Wirehead says:

One time my dad took me to a restaurant in Denver named Gunther Toody's (don't ask). It's this '50's themed place, all chrome and stainless, that kind of thing. I was kind of cranky or something because the waitress made some sort of "Office Space" type comment like, "SOMEBODY'S got the MONDAYS!". I was trying to make her go away politely, so my dad decided to have a little fun with me, and started saying things to prolong the conversation - "Oh, make sure that's what he REALLY wants - he changes his mind a lot" and other classic witticisms. Near the end of this ordeal he said, "Oh, and it's his birthday, too!". The waitress said, "Really?" and I was shaking my head, saying "NO! NO! It's NOT!" and my dad took pity and told her it wasn't. Five minutes after we finished eating, her and the entire waitstaff show up around our table with a cupcake with a candle in it and start singing one of those amazingly annoying "theme restaurant" happy birthday songs... we couldn't get them to stop. So they finish singing, the entire restaurant (50+ people) claps, and then I've got to tell her that, no, it really isn't my birthday. She got pretty sour after that.

I don't know if it was an undercooked cheeseburger or just my simple dislike for the entire hour I was there that made me throw up soon after leaving.

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